Are You Addicted to Shopping?

I recently googled “addicted to shopping”, and it came back with about 168,000,000 results.

I was pretty shocked at how many people feel bound or caught up in the trappings of the instant gratification of spending and purchasing goods.

But maybe I shouldn’t be when I think about how we now live in a world full of instant gratification.

It is easy to pick up the mobile phone next to you and jump on to that all-important shopping app. Before you know where you are, you’ve spent more than you meant to on things that you don’t really need. It is so easy to put in those debit/credit card details, not like in the old days of hard cash when if you didn’t have it, you couldn’t spend it. 

I know that I go to the shops less, and I have that famous go-to app that delivers to my door the next day. But I also see that not everything is available on the high street anymore, usually because it creates lower overheads for businesses.

We often look outside of ourselves to make ourselves feel better in the moment, and this can present as addiction to shopping.

As a child, when you were feeling sad, perhaps your parents bought you a little gift that gave you a feeling of being noticed and loved.

This could lead to unconsciously creating a story that gifts and presents will create that feeling of warmth and self-love. This is a mistake on the part of the ego. That feeling comes from inside you just as all other feelings are created from within you. Be kind and recognise the thoughts that are being created in the mind when you feel good.

A thought is totally invisible and yet it is given a lot of attention. Unfortunately, you can not change a thought. Instead, once it has arrived, notice and let it pass by just like a cloud in the sky.

A client worked with her husband in his business; as the company grew, he worked more and more, including going abroad. He was also able to hire staff and his wife no longer needed to work. As she grew bored, she went to the shops and purchased many beautiful clothes that she never wore. She said the shop assistants swooned over her, and she felt important and needed. This is something she hadn’t felt for quite some time. Once she realised she was addicted to shopping, she decided to auction many of the purchases and donate the money to a charity. She then worked to raise funds for the charity.

The client found a new purpose that gave her the same feeling of fulfilment and love.

Addiction comes from the Latin word for enslaved or bound. The term has evolved in the English language and is very broadly used. Generally, suppose something is taking up more thinking time than normal daily activities. For example, you may plan the day and evening around your spending time on shopping channels and apps, browsing the internet, or popping into shops. You will be hiding the purchases, pretending they don’t exist. You are taking out more credit cards to clear the ones you already have and telling yourself that you have it all under control.

Today I want to give you three things to think about when it comes to shopping.

1. Do you need any of it?

Each year in spring, I go through my wardrobe, through the loft, through the garden and look for what I no longer use. Years ago, I purchased “Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui”. The author suggests that if you haven’t used it for six months, throw it away or give it away. If something is sentimental, then different rules apply. When I started to practice this, our lives changed.

2. Breathe before purchasing.

Set a timer on your phone for 2 minutes and do a simple breathing exercise such as square breathing. Count to four as you breathe in, hold for the count of four, count four as you breathe out, hold for four, and repeat.

I teach clients  7-11 breathing techniques. I also use TFT (Thought Field Therapy) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).

3. Does it make you happy?

Ask yourself how long the item will make you happy for after you’ve bought it. Check your wardrobes and cupboards to remind yourself of all the purchases you’ve previously made and not used.

If you are concerned about out of control spending or are in debt, there is help available. Don’t suffer in silence.