So here we are in the 2nd month of 2021.
February thought of as the month of romance and love. As we step from winter to spring, everything is changing. People are getting their vaccinations for Covid immunisations, and the weather is warming up. As I go for my walks, I can see the beginnings of new buds emerging from tree and bush branches.
How did that work out?
Some of you may have decided to start January with a change of diet and sobriety for four weeks. How did that work out for you? If you did consider different food choices and no alcohol for a month, how did you feel afterwards? Did you find that your mind had less fog and more clarity? Did you feel more comfortable in your clothes? How did your skin look and feel? And of course, the last thing, how was that feeling in your mouth in the morning?
If love is what you are looking for?
whether in lockdown or any other time, consider how you think and treat yourself. The best love is self-love. We so often take care of others and support others with kindness. It is so easy to dismiss being kind to yourself. How do you speak to yourself? Ever look in the mirror and tell you that you love you? Probably not! The most significant part of a hypnotherapist work is listening to what people say and how they communicate to themselves.
Maybe this resonates with you?
I am so stupid
I keep getting everything wrong.
I don’t know my arse from my elbow.
Nobody would want to date me.
I am so fat. I am so clumsy. I am ugly. I am broken. I am so, and so on.
What is your inner voice saying to you? What do you say out loud to your friends?
Many of you were brought up to believe that it is bad or wrong to think well or praise yourself. Look how that has worked out.
Before you can receive love from another, you must first learn to self-love.
Many people in therapy with counsellors or alternative therapists like myself have an out-of-date belief system that no longer serves them.
Before you can receive love from another, you must first learn to self-love. Your birth-right demands it of you. You no longer have to run those out of date thoughts; you can recognise them, thank them, and move to a more useful idea, e.g. I am now the perfect weight. I am healthy. I am????
Thought can be addictive
Working as a therapist, I see clients battling with addiction, and the darkness that enters their thoughts and bodies as that addiction starts to take control of their minds and bodies. It is not their fault; it is a trick of the brain and ego. My work with clients identifies the emotions that underly the addiction or addictive behaviours.
It is amazing how we never think about our thought processes as being addictive. We can as quickly be addicted to negative self-talk as we can cigarettes or cocaine. Most people are more addicted to inner negative self-talk than any substance. It is the emotions that drive behaviour. Someone that is using cocaine feels powerful and confident, and if they are a party person, then maybe the cocaine allows them to drink more alcohol and stay awake longer. Here is just one example of being in with the crowd or being the ‘it’ guy controlling the substances’ use.
Conditioned from birth
We are conditioned from birth to believe that all the good feelings come from something outside of the inner being. I have found that is not true.
When I decided to stop drinking to numb my feelings and quiet the noise in my head, I learnt to feel inside and recognise my inner talk, and the thinking supporting my internal chatter was just noise. I can now ask myself what is truth in the now. Am I okay? Is there a tiger chasing me? Do I have a roof or a home to rest my head, and do I have food to place on the table? If I can answer those questions with a firm yes, then I know that I am all right and okay in the power of now.
In the words of Eckhart Tolle, We only have the power of now. The past is thought of as an event that is no longer. The future is a consideration of an event that hasn’t happened.